Monday, November 12, 2012

Hatman & Indigo Save Twin City Again

By Christine Montgomery, The Twin City Register
Updated on November 12 at 2:30 p.m.

Twin City, USA – A plot to take over Twin City by imprisoning residents and covering buildings and infrastructure in pumpkin vines has been thwarted by the superheroes Hatman & Indigo.

The superhero team returned from vacation in Hawaii and promptly was able to eliminate the vines and free local residents.

“I’m not really sure how we did it,” Hatman said. “As we were flying over the city in the Hat-mo-copter, the vines just sort of disappeared.”

The vines began appearing all over the city on the evening of October 30th and most of the city was covered by the following night. The city remained in this condition for over a week with local police and the National Guard unable to remedy the situation.

An editorial earlier in the week by William D. Stetson of the Twin City Sentinel warned of the possibility of an attack, though it did not specify what it would be. Stetson’s article claimed that Hatman and Indigo were ultimately to blame, though police at the scene credited them with rescuing the city.

“Sheesh, people,” Indigo said, “we take a couple of weeks off and this whole place just goes to pot! I mean, who you got running this city while we’re away? And then we show up and the problem just magically solves itself. You know why? Because the bad guys are so afraid of us that they just run and hide when we show up!”

Police have taken William Bill, 54, an area farmer, into custody in connection with the attack. Bill claims that the actual culprit is The Big Giant Pumpkin Headed Man, a sentient pumpkin creature he says was created by Super Cold Frozen Man.

“I’m innocent! I didn’t have a gosh darn thing to do with these here vines,” Bill shouted as he was being escorted into a police cruiser. “It was that pumpkin man again, I tell ya! I should have known better! I never should have gotten so close to me barn this time of year!”

The attack caused pumpkins and pumpkin related products all over Twin City to spontaneously grow pumpkin vines, which wrapped up thousands of local residents, putting them into a coma-like state. The vines also covered buildings, vehicles and utilities.

The majority of the vines have now disappeared, although they have left behind an estimated $475 million dollars in damages and have left thousands of residents without power or water. There were no reported deaths and only minor injuries.

Mayor Ingot has called for a state of emergency and is requesting federal aid to repair Twin City. This is the fifth state of emergency declared since Ingot took office. 

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